Slices of Life: Hogwarts
by Lone Butterfly
Summary: Short slices of life: Professor Severus Snape and Professor Hermione Snape living at Hogwarts. Postwar, AU, HGSS Rating is for mature situations in some slices.
1. Quidditch Anyone?

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter or any variation. That belongs to JK Rowling and the people SHE gave the rights to. I am not one of those people (dang it!).

**A/N**: Posted in honor of my Beta, who I introduced and addicted to HG/SS fics. I felt it was my duty to give her a short one during her finals. I heart you forever, Drakien!

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

"Bloody git!"

"Know-it-all!"

"Arrogant prat!"

"Insufferable Gryffindor!"

"Devious Slytherin!"

"Buck-toothed nerd!"

"Not any more, you greasy bat!"

"I am not a vampire."

"You bite like one."

Severus reached a long finger over and lifted away the hair on Hermione's neck, revealing a very large bruise.

"I'm still not understanding why you always refuse to use a simple spell to remove those."

"Maybe I like being bite, Professor Severus Snape."

"I'm sure I can continue to accommodate you, Professor Hermione Snape. But is the evidence really necessary the morning after?"

"Stop asking questions, I'm trying to get in the mood."

"Since when did you need to get in the mood to watch a game?" Severus snorted.

"Just because despising Gryffindors comes naturally to you, doesn't mean that hating Slytherins comes naturally to me. Now hush, so I can focus," Hermione responded, waving her toothbrush at her husband.

"That's not a wand, and you can't hex me," Severus called over his shoulder as he left their bathroom to dress.

"I'm a Potions Mistress and if I wanted to hurt you I would poison you, silly git!" Hermione responded, pulling on her winter robes. She crossed through their bedroom to the outer living area where three scarves hung on the wall. One very masculine green, black, and silver scarf (which began soaring to the bedroom following the "accio scarf" command from Severus), one feminine green, black, and silver scarf (that Hermione wore when Slytherin was playing Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw – in support of her husband's house), and one feminine red and gold scarf with a beautiful lioness on it (a gift from the Headmistress McGonagall when Hermione became Head of Gryffindor). It was the final scarf that she removed from the hook, carefully wrapping it around her neck so the lioness was facing out.

She slid on her black gloves and turned to her husband who had come behind her, leaning in to nibble her earlobe.

"Is the bet still on?" Hermione asked, straightening her all-black ensemble (save the scarf, of course).

"Of course, my beloved," whispered Severus, as he took a moment to appreciate how beautiful his wife truly was. "You know, if someone had told me ten years ago that today, I would be in love with the dazzling, black wearing-robes billowing-Potions Mistress-Professor Hermione Jane Granger Snape, I would have hexed them to the other side of the week."

"And if someone had told me ten years ago that I would have not only fallen in love with the vampire of the dungeon, but would have married him and taken his place teaching potions so he could teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, AND become the Head of Gryffindor, I would have immediately gone to the library looking for the counter-curse for whatever spell they had been put under. Now, lets get up to our respective common rooms and have a good match."

Severus leaned down to kiss her goodbye, and winked. "Worried we'll win?"

"I trust my Gryffindors, Professor, you would do well to remember I don't bet on anything I'm not confident in," she countered assuredly, walking away from their dungeon rooms towards the Quidditch Pitch.

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

_Other than the two Professor Snapes, only Headmistress McGonagall seemed to realize that if the birth dates of the three Snape children were carefully scrutinized, the conceptions fell on the three times in the last seven years the Gryffindor Quidditch team lost to Slytherin. She, unlike prior Heads of Hogwarts, managed to keep some things to herself._


	2. You Knew They Were Dentists!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter or anything in that world. Thank JKR for them!

**A/N**: I heart you forever, Drakien! And reviews are much appreciated.

"I like them."

"They're yellow."

"I LIKE them."

"They're crooked."

"I LIKE THEM."

"It's free."

"They are part of me. I am **NOT** changing them."

"I don't understand why you are being a baby about this, you knew when we got married that my parents were dentists. Frankly, I think it's a nice gesture that they have waited this long to mention your teeth."

"Hermione Granger Snape, I am NOT going to allow your parents to attack my person with their muggle ways in the hopes of correcting something I consider an asset."

"Severus, how in Merlin's name are yellow, crooked teeth an asset?"

"They are intimidating to students and adults alike. They keep bothersome pests away from me. And I don't have to worry about being attractive now that I have you, not that I ever really worried about being attractive. Are you saying that you are ashamed of me?"

Hermione let out a sigh and leaned back onto the pillows. Severus' head lay on the pillow next to her. She idly ran her hands through his jet black hair and traced his ear with a finger. She had been worried about his reaction, but knew that her mother would mention it soon if she didn't, and she had hoped he would take it better from her.

"Sev, I would never be ashamed of you, ever. I am proud to be your wife, and I think you are immensely handsome, in a dark and tall kind of way. But what about the rest of our family? Do you want your children to listen to the same things we said when we were at Hogwarts?"

"I have years to think about that, don't try to play on my emotions."

"Seven months," Hermione said softly.

Severus sat up with a shocked expression and stared first at Hermione's face, then his gazed slipped down to her stomach. He was, for the first time in her recent memory, rendered speechless. He lifted up her nightshirt and lightly laid his hand on her bare stomach, spreading his fingers out. Finally, his eyes returned to her face and he opened his mouth.

"Boy or girl?

"Girl, Severus. You're having a daughter." They sat in silence, her laying back on the beautiful silk pillows that covered their huge bed, him laying beside her on the coverlet, stroking her stomach and whispering to their tiny creation. Hesitant to interrupt him, she went back to stroking his hair and shoulder lovingly.

"You know I love you, no matter what," she finally got up the nerve to say.

"I'll see the new medi-witch next week about the teeth, but the nose stays," he replied, looking up at her.

"Forever and ever," she grinned, leaning down to drop a soft kiss on his most prominent feature.


	3. Birthing With Severus!

**Disclaimer**: Really, if I DID own Harry Potter - or any piece therein - would I be writing here? Right, didn't think so.

**A/N**: Slices you want to see? Leave them in reviews or email me - addy in profile. Thanks!

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

A primal scream woke Severus out of his deep sleep and caused him to jerk himself to an upright position while fumbling for his wand. It took a few seconds for him to register that the scream was not coming from the Slytherin house common room, nor from a crazed animal, but from the woman laying beside him. Or rather, curled up beside him in some semblance of a fetal position with both hands clasping her rather formidable stomach. It took a few more seconds to realize that she was screaming his name, and asking him to do something. He shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs and focus.

"GET GINNY NOW! AND MY MOTHER!"

"Now, Hermione, love, quiet down and I'll go retrieve the mediwitch. But I thought we had decided that we would wait to contact your mother until after our child was born," he calmly said, feeling collected now and pulling on his robe.

Hermione strained to sit up and grabbed at his robe with both hands, gripping very tightly. With a very crazed look in her eyes, she leaned into him, and gritted her teeth.

"Get me Ginny, now. Then floo your skinny, snarky self to my mother's house and bring her back here. Because if you walk back into this room without someone who actually understands what I am going through, this will be the LAST child you EVER have the pleasure of conceiving. Am I making myself perfectly clear?"

Severus struggled to untangle himself from her grasp and back away towards the large armchair where his clothes lay. He searched her eyes for some semblance of the always unruffled, composed witch he had married, and couldn't find even the faintest glimpse of reasoning there. Severus, however, was not a stupid man, so he didn't share this observation with his wife. Instead he let out a sharp "DOBBY" and waited for the house elf to materialize in front of him.

"How can Dobby help?" asked the little creature, while maintaining a respectful distance from Hermione, who at that point was panting and clutching the coverlet.

"Get Madam Potter, the medi-witch, and ask her to come immediately. Then remain here and help Professor Snape time her contractions until I return," replied Severus, as he dressed himself for the cold weather.

"Ice, Dobby, find me ice!" Hermione cried. "And get Ginny, NOW."

With a quick nod of the head and a crack, Dobby disappeared. Severus finished buttoning his robes and strode out of the bedroom, rapidly trying to get out of Hogwarts so he could apparate.

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

Thirty minutes later a pop signaled the arrival of Severus and Mrs. Granger, along with a rather large suitcase. He and the levitated bag moved rapidly from the outskirts of Hogwarts towards the school's front door, but he was no match for Hermione's mother, who seemed to be flying towards her daughter. For once in his life, Severus was glad to see the insufferable Harry Potter, who had obviously been keeping vigil in the front hall waiting for their arrival. Harry quickly threw a pinch of floo powder in the hall fireplace and called out "Professor Snapes' Quarters", sending Mrs. Granger through. He then turned to Severus and let out a chuckle.

"Ready to be a father, Sev?"

"Professor Potter, you may be the godfather of this child, but I would appreciate, even in this moment, a bit of respect."

Harry just continued grinning.

Severus sighed, and reached for the suitcase. "Up for a walk, Professor Potter? I'm not sure I want to floo into the scene that is currently awaiting me in my chambers."

"Ginny said she's got at least two hours to go, so lets take the long route to the dungeon." And off they went, Severus content with the silence, and Harry, for Hermione's sake, obliging him.

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

"Finally, you made it!" cried Mrs. Granger, as Harry and Severus entered the sitting room. She reached for her suitcase and threw it haphazardly on the desk, Severus cringing at the piles of essays scattering to the floor. She unzipped it and pulled out an odd looking wooden device with small wheels and nubs, before rushing back into the main bedroom.

"At least the screaming has stopped," whispered Severus to Harry.

"SEVERUS!" came a voice from the bedroom. "GET IN HERE NOW!"

"Spoke to soon, there, Sev."

Letting out a nervous (and bit exasperated) sigh, Severus removed his outer robe and walked through the bedroom door.

Hermione lay on her side, curled up, with her mother running the oddly shaped muggle device over her back. Her hair had been pulled back, but bits of the bushy brown tresses had escaped, reminding Severus fondly of her university years, when she would sit up for hours studying, bent over her books. Ginny was wiping her forehead with a glowing blue cloth. A small cup of ice hovered next to Ginny's free hand, half empty. The beautiful coverlet had disappeared, and clean white sheets had appeared on their bed. Ginny had transfigured the canopy into a calming illusion of a waterfall, and was trying to get Hermione to focus on the soothing sound. As he approached his wife, he could hear her whimpering and mumbling under her breath.

"Good, you've arrived, take over with the cloth and talk to her, Severus," ordered Ginny, as she handed him the small square of fabric. It was cold and damp to the touch, obviously charmed by Ginny. He sat down on the footstool that had been pulled up to the side of the bed and Hermione reached out to clutch his free hand, while Ginny moved to a better position to run her wand over Hermione's midsection.

"Sev, I don't think I can do this," Hermione panicked. "I don't think I'm ready to be a mother. What if my child hates me? What if I forget to feed the baby? What if I don't know how to give it a bath? What if I mess up?"

"Hermione, you are the bravest, smartest, most loving and giving witch I have ever met. You have suffered all sorts of frustrations practically mothering Mr. Weasely and Professor Potter when they were in school – and they love you for it. And this time, you aren't alone, I'm here, we are going to do this together. This is an equal partnership, my little know-it-all."

"Really, I don't see YOU giving birth, where's the equality here? This HURTS, Severus!"

Severus let out a little thank you in his head as Ginny answered for him.

"'Mione darling, men can't handle these things, and I just finished my exam, so if you're ready for a pain relief spell or potion we can get you something. You are at 9 cm, so spells and potions won't affect the baby."

Hermione nodded her head and gritted her teeth as another contraction hit, muttering out "Spell, please."

Lifting up her nightshirt, Ginny placed her wand directly on the spine and began incanting a pain relief enchantment. Almost immediately, Severus was relieved to see her face relax.

"Now, are you ready to have this baby?" Ginny asked, not really waiting for an answer before ordering everyone to their places. "Hermione, lay on your back, good, now lift up a little. Professor Snape, move the pillows down so she's propped up, a little higher, there you go, that's right. Mrs. Granger, please lift and hold her left leg. Now, Professor Snape, hold her right leg. Good, good, now, Hermione at the next contraction I want you to take a deep breath and push. You can do this, Mione, you are strong."

Severus had to admit (to himself) that he admired the little redheaded spitfire, who commanded respect and did her job without apology.

"Okay, bear down, you can do this, bear down, Mione," Ginny coached, encouraging her through the contraction. "Count to ten, Professor, count for her, come on Mione, push to me love. Okay, take a breath and get ready to do this again, you can do it, and – count for her Professor."

Severus rubbed her calf, and counted to ten, smirking to himself when his little overachiever would continue pushing for just a moment after he stopped counting.

"I can see the head, Mione! Give me your hand, reach down, feel the little patch of hair? That's your baby, love, come on, you are so close. Two more contractions," Ginny said. "Count, Professor, let's bring the newest Snape into the world."

Three minutes later a very loud cry emitted from a very tiny Snape, and was matched by the only slightly softer sobbing from the medium sized Mama-Snape. The large Papa-Snape managed to restrain from showing much emotion, although Ginny thought his eyes seemed to water a little bit.

A quick wave of the wand over the mother, and Ginny turned to clean up the newborn.

"Boy or girl, Ginny?" asked Hermione.

Turning back around, with a much cleaner baby, Ginny laid the infant on Hermione's chest. "Mione, Professor Snape, I present your very healthy daughter."

"You two take a moment. I'm proud of you, sweetheart." Mrs. Granger leaned down and kissed her daughter and granddaughter on their foreheads, then straightened up and headed for the sitting room. Severus just stared at what he was sure was the most beautiful mother and child ever, absolutely speechless. Ginny busied herself, waving her wand and murmuring cleansing and healing spells on Hermione. Severus didn't notice the waterfall disappear, or the medical sheets being replaced with their regular black silk sheets, the coverlet reappearing over Hermione, or even his wife's nightshirt disappearing and one of his Slytherin-green button-up pajama tops appearing on her. It wasn't until the wrinkled pink blanket wrapped around his baby girl became a maroon and gold blanket that he was snapped out of his fog.

"She's a Slytherin Snape," he said, waving his own wand and changing the color to a deep green with silver trim.

"She was born of a Gryffindor," Ginny retorted, changing the color right back.

"Slytherin, Madam Potter." The blanket shimmered back to green and silver.

"Gryffindor, Professor Snape." The blanket seemed a little confused (if fabric can be confused) as it changed to maroon and gold.

"It's not your child, Madam Potter, go have your own little lion with your husband-who-lived-to-annoy-me. This child is a Snape!" Severus raised his voice and tapped the blanket, sending a ripple of green through the maroon.

"Pink." came Hermione's voice, forgotten in the dispute. "Change her blanket back to pink, and let her find her own house in eleven years."

"Of course, Mione," said Ginny, turning the blanket to a rosy pink. "I'm going to go out and talk to Harry. I'll send him to find Headmistress McGonagall. Good job, Hermione."

As Ginny pulled the door closed, leaving the new family alone, Severus sat down on the bed beside Hermione.

"What are we going to name her?"

"Perdita Elizabeth Snape."

"Perdita?" Severus inquired, "You never mentioned that name."

"It's the name of Hermione's daughter in _The Winter's Tale_. Do you like it?" she asked, running a single finger over her child's forehead and cheeks.

"It's beautiful, Perdita it is then," he agreed.

Perdita gave her consent with a squawk as she turned her head towards her mother's chest, nuzzling.

"Hungry, love?" said Hermione, just realizing that the nightshirt Ginny had so thoughtfully put on her buttoned up the front for easy access, unlike her own nightgowns. Severus moved behind Hermione, wrapping his arms around her body. She relaxed into his chest, as he encircled her, his head resting on her shoulder. They gazed at their black haired, brown eyed daughter, counting her tiny fingers as she nursed.

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

_Severus couldn't help but laugh out loud, while Hermione giggled when they unwrapped the blanket to count Perdita's toes and found the most hideous combination of one green/silver sock and one maroon/gold sock covering her tiny perfect feet._


	4. Childcare Issues

Disclaimer: I don't own it, and I never will.

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

"Absolutely not."

"I'll use a binding spell over there…"

"No."

"…coupled with a few silencing charms…"

"Did you hear me say no?"

"…add one very attentive house elf…"

"Are you even listening to me? I said NO."

"…and there you have it, the perfect childcare solution!"

"Severus, I am not going to let Perdita sit in your Dark Arts class while you are teaching, house elf or not! Who knows what she'll pick up? Besides, your entire teaching style depends on you being uncaring and forceful, how are you going to react when you have to comfort her, while instilling terror in the first years?"

"Well, I don't want her stuffed away from her parents for hours at a time, and YOUR classroom isn't an option!"

"True, the potions classroom isn't the place for an infant, but there has got to be a compromise, something that won't interrupt either class or affect either of our teaching. Have you even given thought to your behavior when the students return? That will be a fine balancing act, even for you, Sev."

"If I can handle waffling between Voldemort and Dumbledore, I think I can handle being a teacher and a father," Severus humphed at his wife. Hermione stood in the center of the empty Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, cradling their tiny daughter in her arms and rocking back and forth on her heels. "I would never let her get hurt."

"Oh, Severus, I know you wouldn't let anything happen to her. I trust you completely. I'm just not sure that you having to divide your attention would benefit her, or your students."

A knock on the door caused them both to turn their heads to the headmistress who leaned against the doorframe.

"I think I may have a solution, Professors," said Headmistress McGonagall, "should you wish to hear it."

"Go on, Minerva, you're going to tell us if we want to know or not."

"Severus! Please! Of course, Minerva, please give us any ideas you have."

"Well, as both of you know, technically you each have your own suite of rooms, and while you insist upon living in the Potion Professor's rooms down in the dungeon – "

"I happen to enjoy the darkness, and anyway being the greasy bat of the east wing simply isn't as scary as the greasy bat of the dungeon."

"Sev-er-us…" Hermione said in a warning tone. He gave her an arched eyebrow and what he considered to be a frightening glare, and what Hermione considered to be wasted on anyone at Hogwarts over the age of 21.

"As I was saying, technically, the Defense Against the Dark Arts position has a suite of rooms that attach to this classroom. So, I thought perhaps you would like to transform them into a nursery for little Perdita. There is already an entrance into Severus' office, and we could easily add an entrance into your office, Hermione. Then you could both be near her, and she would be cared for by whichever house elf you so desired. Besides, I think it would be great when she has company."

"Company?" questioned Hermione and Severus in unison.

"Oh, dear, you don't know yet?" A look of amusement crossed Minerva's face. "I've heard of new parents being blind to everything in the world, but really, that should have been obvious." She chuckled as she walked away.

Hermione and Severus began debating the merits of such a plan, when Ginny stuck her head in the room.

"Are you guys coming to dinner? Harry's out at the Burrow, dropping off a few things for me that Hedwig couldn't carry, so I would be happy to watch Perdita if you two want an hour or so alone to eat."

"Oh, would you? That would be wonderful," said Hermione, handing the tiny bundle over to her best friend. At second glance she said, "Ginny, are you waddling a bit?"

Perdita woke up and let out a howl when Ginny started laughing.

"You JUST noticed? I've been pregnant for almost six months, did you think I was just getting fat?"

"Pregnant?"

"Oh, Lord help us, a Potter-Weasley hybrid," groaned Severus.

"COMPANY! That's what Minerva meant!"

Ginny gave her a blank look, and Hermione explained the nursery idea of the headmistress.

"Bloody brilliant!" exclaimed Ginny. "He'll love it, I'll love it, Harry will love it."

"What about me, Madam Potter? What if I don't love it?"

"Oh, Severus, Perdita needs to be around other children," said Hermione. "Wait, did you say HE? It's a boy?"

Ginny nodded her head, patting the now only slightly hiccupping Perdita on the back. Hermione grabbed her arm and propelled her out of the room and down the hall. Severus watched them walk away and wondered how on earth mothers could plan weddings for infants and the unborn.

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

_Shaking his head, Severus eventuallyfollowed, thinking maybe it was better this way, because it just might take him 20 years to come to terms with his daughter marrying a Potter._


	5. House vs House

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it.

**A/N:** Thank you to all who reviewed. You really know how to make a heart go pitter-patter. :) And to the few peple who mentioned that babies are born with blue eyes - not all babies, my oldest son had brown eyes at birth. It's not as common, but it is possible (oh, the benefits of having a beta who knows genetics!).

* * *

Two of the most intelligent dumbfounded people in the world sat on the couch in their sitting room, staring at a beautiful baby girl, trying to figure out the solution to their little problem. 

Hermione's mind was racing with how to gently handle the situation. Oh, she wanted her way, but Severus hated Gryffindor so much, that even when she wore her favorite maroon silk nightgown to bed she was quite sure that it wasn't his desire to see her body that caused him to tear it off her every time. (Frankly, sometimes she grew tired of casting the repair spell and just wore the long green one.)

Contrary to popular belief, Severus really did love his wife and daughter, and no matter how much he despised Gryffindors in theory, Hermione wouldn't have been his true love if she had been a Slytherin. And after a few years of marriage, even he knew when to push her buttons and when to back off (if for nothing else than the sake of being able to sleep in his own bed, rather than on the sofa). But this time, he really did not want to back down. Yet here they sat, both of them, attempting to figure out if it was better to have an all out argument or pray that the other one just graciously gave in.

This was different, this was Perdita.

Perdita Elizabeth Snape was going to her first Quidditch Match. But this was no ordinary Quidditch match, this was Slytherin vs. Gryffindor. And it was cold. And Perdita needed a scarf. Her bright brown eyes traveled from her mother to her father, as she lay quietly on the couch between them.

In Hermione's lap rested a tiny maroon and gold scarf, adorned with a baby lion cub that purred loudly when stroked. It was a gift from Minerva, identical to the one that had been given to Harry and Ginny's newborn baby boy, Sirius James Potter.

In Severus' hands he held a tiny green and silver scarf, with a silver snake that he had charmed to curl up quietly, because he wasn't sure how his daughter would react to a hissing serpent around her neck. It had been the one baby gift he truly appreciated, because it was the one time he felt like someone was treating him as her actual parent, rather than just Hermione's sidekick. Oddly enough, it had been from Molly and Arthur, but then he always suspected that Molly had a soft spot for him.

"Severus?"

"Hermione?"

"We have to make a decision, we were expected to be in the common rooms fifteen minutes ago."

"I've made my decision."

"Yes, well so have I."

They sat with their eyes locked, neither really understanding why this really carried the importance that it did, only knowing that they couldn't give in. A sharp set of knocks on the door broke the silence.

"Enter," snapped Severus.

The door was flung open and a very tired Ginny stepped through, a tiny infant peeking out of the sling around her body.

"P-lea-se, what is taking the two of you so long? The entire school is waiting." She shook her head as the problem dawned on her. "You know, for being the most brilliant witch and wizard of their generations at Hogwarts, you two certainly aren't very bright," she muttered. And with a wave of Ginny's wand, Perdita's entire outfit was changed. A soft black blanket surrounded her body, and a miniature black cashmere hat sunk down onto her head. A matching cashmere scarf wove its way around her neck. "She's not a Gryffindor or a Slytherin, she's a Snape. And _that _house color is black," she snorted as she walked out back down the dungeon hallway. "Hogwart's requests your presence at the Quidditch Pitch…" her voice trailing off and being drowned out by the soft snicker of Hermione who gathered her daughter in her arms.

"Now, why couldn't we think of that?"


	6. The Problem with Harry

**Disclaimer:** If I didn't own when I wrote the first five slices, I sure don't own it now!

**A/N:** Thanks for reading, slice suggestions should be emailed to the addy on the profile page. :)

* * *

"Severus, we have a problem," announced Harry as he entered the DADA Professor's office. 

Without looking up from the papers that were being murdered with all the red ink he was putting on them, Severus responded, "WE don't have a problem, Professor Potter. YOU have many, however. Now go back to teaching the youngest dunderheads how to ride a broom, and leave me alone."

Ignoring the fact that words even came out of Severus' mouth, Harry began casting silencing charms and locking wards on the room.

"Just what in the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Potter? Should you be in need of counsel, I would suggest going to speak to your wife, or the Headmistress, or even – Merlin help me – Hermione. I don't have any desire to hear about your problems," he said, not even sparing a glance from the essays.

"Severus – "

"Professor Snape – "

"Severus," Harry tried again, pulling up a seat in front of the desk, "when was the last time you and Hermione had sex?"

"PROFESSOR POTTER! That is none of your business, now go away quickly so I can try to forget I ever heard you say the word sex in my presence."

"Never mind, I already know the answer, and that's why we have a problem."

Severus finally raised his head, with a look on his face that reminded Harry of pure fury. In fact, the last time Harry had seen that look was in his sixth year when Neville managed to melt three cauldrons, and incinerate Severus' shoes, all in one double potions class.

In a very quiet hiss he said, "Pray tell, how you already know that answer, Professor Potter?"

"I overheard Ginny and Hermione talking with the babies, and it seems we are both suffering from the same dilemma. Although I have to say that since Dita was born almost two months before Sirius, you've lasted a lot longer than I could, but that's not the point."

"What is your point?" said Severus, in the same low hiss, emphasizing every word.

"My point is that unless we both want to have only children, and live celibate lives, we might want to address this situation."

"I do not want _you_ to, as you put it, address this situation with _my wife_. Nor do _I_ want to address this situation with _Madam Potter_."

"Do you want to have sex with Hermione, ever again?"

"Professor Potter, I have asked you once already to leave and refrain from ever saying that word in my presence. You are giving me nightmares worthy of a Deatheater."

"Do you? Because it seems our wives are feeding off each other, something about being tired and having so much responsibility, and being unattractive, and they just aren't feeling like having sex."

"That's ridiculous, I've never said Hermione was unattractive! Not once!" exclaimed Severus, finding himself caught up in the conversation against his better judgement. "I think she's beautiful with her curves, and when she's holding Perdita in her arms, nursing her – "

"Exactly! I could say the same thing about Ginny. I'm not sure why she can't see that when she looks in the mirror, because all she does is complain about the baby weight and some thing about dark squares under her eyes."

"Circles."

"Huh?"

"That's circles under her eyes, or at least they're circles when Hermione is looking in the mirror." said Severus, shrugging his shoulders. "Did you have a plan, here, Potter, or did you just come to commiserate? I would rather not hear about you and your wife not being intimate, but if somehow this could help me, then – "

"I do have a plan, I just need your help."

**XOX XOX XOX XOX XOX**

She ran her fingers through his black hair, snuggling her nose into his collarbone. He laid on his back, thoroughly satisfied, idly rubbing her leg that was thrown over his waist.

"Severus, this is wonderful. This weekend without Dita, this beautiful room overlooking the mountains, the wine and flowers, and the delicious food. Thank you," she whispered, punctuating her gratefulness with kisses to his neck and jawline. "How did you come up with the idea to ask Harry and Ginny to watch her this weekend, in exchange for us watching Sirius next weekend?"

"Oh, just a little idea that popped into my head while I was grading," he whispered back, his upper lip twitching in as much of a grin as Severus ever mustered.


	7. The Problem with Hermione

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**A/N:** I luv my Beta.

* * *

"Severus, we have a problem," announced Hermione as she entered her husband's office. 

"And what problem is that, my wife?" replied Severus, as he continued to grade the first year Hufflepuff essays.

"My friends think you hate them."

"That's most likely because I _do_, dear. Very observant those friends of yours."

"Severus, I want to be able to invite Ginny, Harry, and Sirius down to our chambers for dinner one night. And I want us all to enjoy ourselves, which is next to impossible with you insisting that they call you Professor Snape."

"Hermione, love, what on _earth_ makes you think I want to spend time with half of the Golden Quartet?" he said, waving his hand dismissively, his eyes never leaving the papers.

"What did you just say?" responded Hermione, leaning very close to his desk, and attempting to look into his face. "Did you say Golden _Quartet_?"

Glancing up, Severus let out a mumbled, "Oh, did I? I, of course, meant Golden Trio."

"Severus, there is only one person who ever referred to Ginny as part a Golden Quartet," she said, eyeing him suspiciously. "But then, you know that don't you…"

"Hermione, I have no idea what you could be referring to." His voice carrying just a hint of desperation.

"Ginevra Weasley – perhaps the only other person in our world who has felt the type of connection with Lord Voldemort that the infamous Harry Potter has. The true connection for the Golden Trio, it is she: as Miss Hermione Granger's closest confidant, as Mr. Ronald Weasley's sister, and as the woman who gave the-Boy-who-lived the love he needed to become the-Man-who-triumphed, it is she who completed the insurmountable Golden Quartet. Shall I continue, Sev?"

He glared at her.

"I shall then," she said winking at her husband. "Miss Weasley first fought the nameless Lord at the tender age of 11, when he invaded her mind. She defeated him then, with the help of her friends. The years that followed merely show how her determination and intelligence made her an asset to the Order of the Phoenix. Her presence during the final battle enabled Mr. Potter to destroy the face of evil and set the Wizarding World free. It is with great honor that the Ministry for Magic bestows the Order of Merlin, Second Class, on Miss Ginevra Molly Weasley." Hermione paused to study Severus. "That commendation was written by an anonymous wizard, one we always suspected was in the Order. But no one suspected YOU, Sev."

He grunted at her.

"Severus! It WAS you! You do like Ginny!"

"Hermione, I merely tolerate Madam Potter. She's almost as smart as you are, twice as logical as Professor Potter, and ten times as humorous as any of those beasts you call her brothers. It would seem to me that since she played such a vital part in the final battle, her receiving the Order of Merlin was a given. That being said, whoever wrote such drabble should be shot for showing sentiment."

Hermione grinned like a small child who just discovered sugar.

"If you tell anyone, I will hex you, you insufferable Gryffindor."

"I'm off to invite our dinner guests over. I love you, Severus." She said, as she rose from her seat, eyes twinkling in a Dumbledorean fashion, and black robes billowing behind her form that headed for the exit.

"And I am rather fond of you also, Hermione," he softly replied as the door swung shut behind her.


	8. The Problem with Ginny

"Severus, we have a problem," announced Ginny as she entered the DADA Professor's office.

"Sweet Merlin, can anyone let me grade in peace?" questioned Severus, throwing his quill down on the table and burying his face into his hands.

"Valentine's Day is next week."

"Hermione hates Valentine's Day."

"No, she doesn't. YOU hate Valentine's Day. She just goes along to make you happy."

"And I want to change this why?"

"You love her."

"Madam Potter, please go away."

"No. You are going to do something this Valentine's Day that makes Hermione happy."

"I do make her happy."

"Severus, do you have a single memory from the night your wife gave birth to Perdita? Find a gift, make it good, and make her day. Minerva already said she would baby sit for Dita and Sirius. So, you must now go shopping," she stated, leaning over his desk into his face.

"Fine, I'll buy her a gift. Happy?"

"Ecstatic!" exclaimed the little red-head, as she left his office.

* * *

Grumbling, Severus strode along the street in Diagon Alley, after stomping out of the jewelry store. The cheap and flimsy wares did not impress him, but having never purchased a gift for a woman other than Hermione, and having never purchased Hermione anything that wasn't books or something she needed for work, he wasn't quite sure what to get to make her happy.

_If Ginevra was going to send him here, she could have at least given him an idea._

He paused outside of Gringotts. The idea hit him full force, and he entered the Wizarding Bank, strode up to the counter, and demanded access to his vault. (_Or asked politely, even Severus knew you don't "demand" anything from a goblin._)

* * *

Chocolate covered strawberries, elfin wine, light music in the background, and a very happy wife curled up beside him. He idly ran his fingers up and down her arm, lightly stroking her shoulder.

"Now, for your final gift."

"Severus, this has been wonderful, you didn't need to get me anything else."

"Actually, this should have been yours the day we got married. I am ashamed to say I had forgotten." He placed a small velvet box in her lap and waited for her to open it.

He wasn't disappointed by her gasp of surprise and the look of joy on her face.

_Maybe Valentine's Day wasn't so bad after all._


	9. Halloween Ball

* * *

**Author's Note: This takes place approx2 years after Slice #1 and 1 year after Slice #5.**

* * *

"Please?" 

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Hell No."

"Pretty please with a hot fudge sundae?"

"That doesn't even make _sense_!"

"So yes?"

"No."

"Severus, Minerva specifically said we are required to chaperone the Halloween Ball, and we are required to be in costume."

"I am in costume, I'm going as a Professor."

"No."

"Please?"

"Hell No."

"Do you really want your daughter to pick up that language?"

"She's heard worse out of your mouth!"

"What if I promise to leave my costume on _after_…"

"You mean, during…"

"Yes."

"And Minerva will watch Perdita?"

"Yes, Dita's spending the night with Grandmum Minerva."

"In that case…"

* * *

The Great Hall fell silent as their most feared Professors stepped into the room, Hermione's hand resting lightly on top of her husband's as he led her to the Staff table. 

Hermione's legs were covered by a long sheer skirt, black and shimmering as it moved and caught the lights. Her torso was covered in a soft black sweater, with a deep (and almost inappropriate) v-neck. She had two sets of wings come out of her back, a pair of underwings in a dark orange, with black tips, and a set of overwings that faded from the same dark orange to solid black at the top with only a few white spots. Thin grey antenna poked through her bushy hair and stuck up towards the ceiling, a small white ball at the tip of each one. She lovingly fluttered her wings as she walked, smiling at the students.

Severus wore nothing by his long black trousers, black boots, and a long sleeve button-up black shirt. (_Which would be a lot of clothes for most people, but for the Professor it was obviously lacking in a vest, an undercoat, and his outer robes_.) Out of his back, spread out in their full breadth, were a pair of upper and lower deep ebony moth wings. In the center where they met there was a large yellowish-cream mark. Two long antenna, brown and stick-shaped, came out of his head and pointed downward.

Harry raised his eyebrows, while Ginny stifled a giggle.

"Something funny, Madam Potter?"

"You're an _**Acherontia atropos** _and she's a _**Vanessa cardui**_!"

"You get this, Gin?" asked Harry.

"Oh, Merlin, who else is going to get that joke?" Ginny questioned the Snapes, ignoring her husband.

"I wasn't sure anyone would," Hermione confessed.

"Oh – freaking – Merlin…" Ginny collapsed into a fit of laughter.

"I mean, I get that 'Mione is a Painted Lady Butterfly, but what's so funny about Severus?"

"Professor Snape," he grunted, sitting down in one of the chairs, conveniently transfigured by his wife to be without a back for his wings.

"Right, whatever – Severus is just a moth. With a funny mark."

At that Hermione and Ginny both began snickering.

"Fine, leave me out of it," humphed Harry – ignoring them pointedly and watching the dance floor for troublemakers.

* * *

Severus had the most pleasurable Halloween he could remember: between his wife's amazing new bedroom tricks (_Merlin – wings can levitate a woman_!) and stumping Potter. He _might_ just do this again next year.

* * *

**House points to whomever can figure out Severus' costume!**


	10. First Night Back

* * *

**A/N**: Many thanks to the other half of my brain: Drakien, who was there when this plot bunny attacked me at midnight while we were IMming...scary!

* * *

Minerva stepped into the Entrance Hall and smiled. It was the first night the students were back from the Winter Holiday break, and it had been a blessedly uneventful evening.

The Prefects and Headshad finished their rounds, and all the children were safely ensconced in their dorms.

Hogwarts was thankfully, perfectly, and absolutely silent, except for the small gathering of Professors having the traditional "first night back cup of cocoa" at the end of the Slytherin table. Minerva had just left the group, which was compromised of every staff member – including Mr. Filch – with the notable exception of the Snapes.

She had hoped when they had married that Hermione would draw out Severus and help him be friendlier with the staff. Instead, Severus had managed to inhibit Hermione's social life to the point where the Snapes really only socialized regularly with the Potters at Hogwarts. Hermione would bring little Dita out, and they ate meals with the school, but rarely did anyone see Hermione and Severus at an optional staff function.

The Headmistress pulled her robes tighter and started up the stairs to her chambers, when a loud whirring spun her around.

"**HOLY SHITE**!" she yelled, staring down at the four large House hourglasses.

"**BLOODY GIT OF A PROFESSOR**!" she continued, storming back down the stairs and pushing past the staff members that had run into the Entrance Hall at the first shout. Flitwick and Sprout stared at the House hourglasses, while Flitch stared at Minerva's retreating form. Only Harry and Ginny had any sense of what the real problem was.

"**HARRY AND GINEVRA! FOLLOW ME, I'LL NEED YOUR HELP BREAKING THE WARDS**!"

"Shit," Ginny whispered, as she passed a sleeping Sirius off to Professor Sprout. "Not again…"

"Get your wand ready to block hexes, you know how he gets," Harry whispered comfortingly in his wife's ear, following Minerva down the staircase to the dungeon.

The Potters struggled to keep up with the very angry Scottish witch, who was currently using her heritage to screech a stream of scathing epitaphs, most of which centered on a certain Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and his anatomy.

"If I told him once, I told him twenty times. How **DARE** he disobey me. I swear on Albus' portrait, I am going to hex his nether regions to Greenland. Let Hermione go and dig them up again!"

"Minerva, perhaps you should take a deep breath, before we talk to him."

"Madam Potter! I'm a calm as I'm **EVER** going to be with that arsehole of a prat! Now, help me get in!"

The large stone statues that guarded the entrance gave the Headmistress a surprisingly uniform bored look.

"You want in?" questioned the white marble Lioness that sat to the right.

"Won't happen." Answered the silver granite Serpent coiled on the left.

"I'm the Headmistress of this school! Let me in."

"Oh, you hear that, she's the _Headmistress_," said the Snake.

"Doesn't matter, she didn't say the password," replied the Lioness.

"Ginny, Harry, give them the password," Minerva answered, looking at the Potters expectantly.

"Minerva, we don't know the password," Ginny said, "Hermione or Severus is always with us. Or they just recognized Dita and let us in."

"You have got to be joking," Minerva said, her anger barely contained. "Listen you overgrown rocks, open the damn door now, or by Merlin's beard I will have you turned into gravel!"

"She's a mighty rude one, isn't she?" said the Serpent.

"Reminds me of your owner," smirked the Lioness.

"**I OWN YOU! I'M THE HEADMISTRESS OF THIS SCHOOL**!"

"Ooooo, SHE owns us. Hummm – I don't think I appreciate her tone of voice," stated the Serpent.

"Neither do I, really, very crass and low class," answered the Lioness.

"Why you miserable piles of rock," sputtered Minerva, "I don't have **_time_** for this, LET ME THROUGH!"

"Should we acquiescent to her demand?" asked the Lioness.

"She does own us," said the Serpent, his tongue slithering out towards the door. "Be it on her head."

The door flung open, and the Headmistress stumbled into the Snape Family living area, the Potters hesitantly pushed in behind.

Ginny turned and buried her head into her husband's shoulder at the sight of the two very naked and sweaty Snapes lying intertwined on the hearth by the fireplace. Harry stared up at the ceiling, waffling between queasy and embarrassed for seeing Hermione in this position.

"Can I help you, Minerva?" Severus calmly asked, _accioing_ a blanket from the sofa to cover himself and his wife.

"**SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU – YOU CAN'T SCREAM 1,000 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR EVERY TIME YOU WIFE LICKS YOU IN THE RIGHT PLACE DURING SEX**!"


	11. How to get to Severus Street?

**_In which Hermione shares a new Charm and Severus shares an old Love..._**

"I can't believe you have finally figured out how to charm a telly and a DVD player to work inside Hogwarts, Mione," Harry said, as he carried a large box down into the dungeon. "I just wish you could use magic on the things."

"Now, Harry, I told you that any magic used on the electronics would damage them and my charm wouldn't work. So just be glad that I'm fixing on up for you in yours and Ginny's quarters."

"I spent all last weekend buying DVDs for us to watch – Ginny's found this great new Yankee show called "CSI" with muggle science and crime! And I found a whole collection of "Dr. Who", not to mention Ginny is in love with this muggle named Brad Pitt – who's done a whole bunch of movies!"

"Calm down, Harry, you're going to drop it!" Hermione cautioned, leading the way into the dungeon rooms. "Set it down over there, and I'll go upstairs with you and fix yours up. We haven't had a chance to shop for anything yet, so I'm in no hurry."

"Actually, Hermione, that is not true," came Severus' voice from Perdita's bedroom door. "I chose a few DVDs this weekend for Perdita and us."

"You chose muggle children's shows?" questioned Harry, not sure if he should find this funny or frightening.

"I was half-muggle, and my father occasionally found it easier to entertain me with a telly when I was a child."

"What did you get?" asked Hermione, looking around for bags of some sort that might hold the surprise.

"I would rather not mention with Professor Potter in the room, however," he said uncomfortably. "I did purchase a few duplicates for young Mr. Potter and his mother to watch."

Hermione finally noticed three brown bags, and opening one she let out a strangled giggle.

"Harry, this one is yours." She handed him the first bag and peered into the next.

Severus put on his best scowl and stared at his wife and long-time-nemesis.

"Oh, Sweet Merlin, of course you would like this," Harry said, grinning at the contents.

"Severus, I think it's excellent!" assured Hermione.

"Of course it's excellent!" said Severus, darkly.

"I always wondered why you got that look when someone called you a Grouch," Harry said, his laughter ringing through the chambers and out the still open door.

"Obviously," retorted Severus, twirling his robes dramatically, "I'm much more The Count!"


	12. Hermione's Secret

Severus stood outside the cracked door in his quarters, listening to his wife and Madam Potter talking, his anger growing by the moment.

"Hermione, you just have to tell him. It's not right to sneak off and ask me to cover for you."

"But I just can't give it up, and he can't give me what I need from this."

"You've never even given him the chance to try."

"He would be totally against it, I know him, Ginny, and Severus would only mock me."

"So you go off and get it somewhere else?"

"Ginny, please, try and understand."

"Severus loves you…"

"I know, but he wouldn't agree to this, and I need this so much. Especially now with a second child on the way."

"You were as insatiable with Dita."

"Promise you will continue to keep this a secret?"

"Are you at least using protection?"

"Of course, Gin! Do you take me for an idiot?"

"Fine, lets floo the kids to Minerva for a few hours and I'll tell Harry we are going shopping."

Two clear "Headmistress' Chambers" into the fireplace later, Severus pushed open the door to an empty room, fuming at the deceit.

* * *

He gave them a five minute head start, before heading to Potter's chamber and collaring him, dragging the Quidditch teacher, and his invisible cloak, out to the grounds of Hogwarts heading towards the gate, muttering the entire way. 

"Severus, what is the meaning of this."

"Your wife," he seethed, "is helping my wife cheat on me. It would be in your best interest to be present when I find them, so they both live to see tomorrow."

"Impossible," came the response, full of unbelief. "Hermione wouldn't cheat on you, and Ginny wouldn't help! Besides, they are both pregnant, are you sure you didn't just mishear whatever they were talking about? They do tend to say some bloody crazy shit with all those hormones rushing through them."

"We have two minutes after they apparate to follow in their wake. Get us under the cloak," Severus retorted, as he hunched down beside a tree next to their regular apparition point.

"All right, but I'm only doing this to prove you're overreacting."

Five minutes later, as predicted, Hermione and Ginny could be seen walking from the castle's front door to the spot less than fifteen meters from their husbands. The men could only catch a hint of the conversation, which seemed to revolve around Ginny trying to dissuade her friend, and Hermione being very insistent that this was necessary.

As soon as the familiar pop was heard, Severus threw off the cloak and jerked the smaller man to his feet.

"I'm coming, Severus," Harry grumbled, moving into the spot vacated by his wife. "Are we tandem?"

"No, you focus on Madam Potter, and I'll focus on Hermione."

With a short muttered spell the two wizards disappeared.

Reappearing was another story, as they landed in a small fenced yard, behind a four story home. A glance around revealed no one, until a voice that clearly belonged to Hermione came from around front. Motioning Harry to follow him, Severus began sneaking around the side of the house.

"Germany," Harry whispered, pointing to a sign now visible on the road.

_**Reichenbach-Steegan**_ the small wooden plank declared to all who passed by.

"Oma! Opa!" Ginny's voice now floated back to the wizards ears. "How are you?"

They couldn't hear the reply from inside the house, but Ginny's next sentence was in German, astonishing both Professors.

"Ja, ist mein Kind gut, sehr gut."

"Did you know she could do that?" asked Severus.

"Not a bloody clue," came Harry's reply.

"Ich habe die Zahlung das Trenks geholt," continued the red-head. "Hermione ist zur Garage geganen. Essen wir nach innen heute?"

They peeked around the corner in time to see Ginny's robes swish through the door before it closed behind her.

"Now what?"

"You can stay here, I'm going to find Hermione."

"She's right there," Harry said, stopping Severus' leaving with one hand. "See, over by the garage right there."

He pointed across the street at a small building where they could both see Hermione bending on the ground, fiddling with a knob of some sort.

"HERMIONE JANE SNAPE!" Severus bellowed, shooting out from his hiding place and advancing on his wife. "JUST WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!"

"Bloody HELL, Severus, you're going to give me a heart attack," she cried, jumping up from the ground. "How did you find me?"

"How long have you been cheating on me? Of all the disgraceful things to do to your husband and daughter!"

"Cheating on you?" she asked, a puzzled look on her face. "Severus, what on earth makes you think I'm cheating on you?"

"You said I couldn't satisfy you! That you had to seek it elsewhere! You even are using _protection_!"

Harry wondered if Severus realized what he was saying, and who he was saying it in front of.

"You were EAVESDROPPING on me!" Hermione retorted, "of ALL the despicable things a husband can do!"

"YOU ARE CHEATING!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

"Um, guys, can we just go inside the little building here, and not cause a scene in the street?" Harry asked, venturing into the fray.

"FINE!" Hermione huffed, as she unclasped her hand, revealing a muggle key. She leaned down and opened the lock, then murmured a few spells to release protective wards. "Now we can go in."

"Is Ginny okay?" Harry cautiously asked.

"Of course she is, she's just practicing her German with Frau Vaughn and Herr Vaughn. She calls them Oma and Opa, especially when she brings Sirius. Frau Vaughn is a muggle healer, and they talk about muggle folk remedies, and practice their language skills."

"Ginny really does speak German?"

"Yes," Hermione snapped, "Now, come inside before I get even angrier for the two of you ruining my afternoon."

"We ruined YOUR afternoon," Severus growled, following the other two through the door. His eyes were locked on Hermione, so he ran into Harry who had stopped still two steps inside the doorway.

"Holy mother of all that is good and holy…"

"Professor Potter, move inside," snarled Severus, pushing from behind and stopping the low tirade.

"Hermione? Where? How? When?"

"Stop asking disjointed stupid questions, Harry. It's just a car."

"A car?" asked Severus, looking around his wife to the muggle mode of transportation sitting in the middle of the room.

"JUST a car?" said Harry, in astonishment. "JUST A CAR?"

"Keep your voice down! I only own a car."

"JUST A CAR! Bloody, bloody, bloody hell…"

"See, Severus, nothing to be worried about. I simply enjoy driving every once in a while to release tension."

"Just a car," Harry repeated, oblivious to his best friend's voice. "Mione, you own a silver, 6 liter, V12, 7000 rpm, Aston Martin Vanquish S."

"What exactly does that mean, Potter?" Severus asked, feeling he was going to get a better answer from the other wizard than his wife.

"This car is fully loaded, and retails in the UK for around 175,000 pounds. Not to mention it's top speed is easily 371 clicks per hour. Mione, this had to run you almost 35,000 galleons."

Severus blanched at the words and returned to staring at his wife.

"Something like that," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Where did the money come from?" asked Severus, his question mingling with Harry's pleading to be allowed to take it for a drive.

"It's a two seater, Harry, and besides did you ever even get your muggle drivers license?"

The younger wizard ignored her, as he moved to gently run his fingers over the hood of the car.

"Severus," Hermione touched her husband's arm. "I didn't mean to keep this a secret, I didn't know how you would react."

"Why a muggle car?"

"You and Harry, and even Ginny, love riding your brooms. Feeling like you're flying, the wind in your hair. Everyone talks about how freeing it is. That's the way I feel about driving a car without a top. If you want to take a ride, I'll show you what I mean."

Sending Potter back to the house to find his wife, Severus finally agreed to get inside the "infernal muggle contraption."

_After a ride on the A6, he vowed never to do so again._

* * *

A/N: I have no idea where the idea for following in a person's apparition wake came from, it might even be canon. I know it's been used many times before and take no credit for thinking that up. :) 

Ginny's German: _"Yes, my child is good, very good."_ and _"I have brought the payment of potion. Hermione has gone to the garage. Are we eating inside today?"_

Also, this is totally a tribute to the village my home was in when I lived in Germany. Reichenbach-Steegan is located in the Rhineland-Pfaltz area, near the Rhine, France, and the beautiful city of Trier. The A6 is like our American interstates. Forgive any bad German, it's been a while, and I was only good at talking to a few people like my boys Oma and Opa. (Okay, going to go sniffle because I'm homesick…)


	13. Honor Thy Mother

_**Honor Thy Mother**_

"Archidamus?"

"Arch – I – dumbass."

"Polixenes?"

"Sounds stupid."

"Camillo?"

"Sounds like a witch."

"Leontes?"

"Absolutely not."

"Sirius?"

"I would rather not spend my life desiring to kill the child."

"So both James and Remus are out?" She gave a giggle.

"I only put up with you because you are pregnant."

"Albus?"

"He'd twinkle, I hate twinkling."

"Neville?"

A scathing look was his only reply.

"Harry?"

"If Mr. Potter wants a Junior, he can make his own."

"Ron?"

"Do you even _LOVE _me, woman?"

"Fine! Than you pick!"

"Tobias."

"You hate your father."

"Lucius."

"Fuck no! Do you have a brain in that skull?"

"I do, but it delightful to see you flinch. No on Draco also?"

"I actually like the name Draco."

He raised his eyebrow in the classic James Bond way.

"Stop trying to imitate the movie characters. Else-wise I won't let you watch anything without me."

"Tom?" A loud thump indicated that she had thrown her body onto his. "Off woman! Get that pillow away from my face – ooooomph, OMMPFH!"

"Are you ready to be serious?"

He nodded his pillow covered head.

"Fine, then, Nicholas?" she asked, lowering the pillow to her rotund belly.

"After Flammel? No."

"Se-ver-us!"

"I'm not naming a child after me."

"I'm due in less than a week. We _have_ to come up with a name!"

"You like Shakespeare so much, why not William?"

"There's a Weasley named William."

"Merlin, wife, if we had to take out all the male names that were also used by Weasleys there would be none left. They breed like bloody redheaded rats."

"So, Perdita and William."

"Dita and Will."

"William Kaden Snape?"

"William Sebastian Snape?"

"William Henry Snape?"

"William Brian Snape?"

"William Prince Snape?"

"Princeton. William Princeton Snape. If that truly is alright with you."

"I would love to honor your mother in that way."

"Lay with me, Professor Snape."

"I have a meeting with the Headmistress in fifteen minutes."

"Minerva can wait," he countered, gently pulling her down beside him. "Lay with me and rest."

She tucked her head on the cushion, allowing his arm to lay on her, his hand gently stroking her belly.

"Wake me up in ten minutes, Severus."

He failed to answer, his mind far away, trying to imagine the features of his firstborn son.


	14. The Story Pictures Tell

"Hold him upright."

"YOU hold him upright, if it's that easy."

"No need to bark at me, Severus, I'm trying to keep your daughter from wiggling out of the picture."

"I seem to recall you being the one unable to remain seated for any length of time, bouncing around in your seat your first year, as if biting fleas were nibbling on your arse."

"ARSE – DA – ARSE!"

"Wonderful, Severus, you've taught him _another_ word."

"Bite your tongue, wife."

Hermione glared at him, fighting to hold Perdita in her lap. The three-year-old's hair was in two long black pigtails tied with yellow ribbons, her hands clasped around a raggedy-stuffed broom toy that had seen better days. She was wearing a bright blue dress, full of tiny yellow flowers, and struggling to get out of her mother's lap to get to her sippy cup sitting on the coffee table.

Severus was standing behind them, wearing his dark navy robes that matched Hermione's and holding a bright blue bundle in his arms. Two pale legs hung out the bottom, kicking and thrashing, one of the tiny trainers flinging off and hitting his mother in the back of her head, right on her bun.

"For God's sake, Severus, at least get his head out of the top of the blanket!"

Grumbling, Severus yanked the corner of the blanket off the top of William's head – his black curls sticking up in all directions. The little boy giggled at the game and wriggled and arm free to reach for his father's nose.

"Take the sodding picture, Creevy," Hermione barked, her patience wearing thin.

The photographer waved his wand in an attempt to make the small phoenix toy in front of him dance for the children, all the while snapping the camera repeatedly.

"I'm sure we have something that will work," Colin said, tucking the toy back in his bag.

"We'd better," Severus growled, "_someone_ simply has to have a family photograph."

"You'll be glad we have this when they are all grown-up," she retorted, standing and releasing Perdita, who scampered over and after grabbing her cup, plopped onto the ground.

"I'll be glad when they are grown," he ground out, watching as William tottered over to his sister and reached his arms out.

"Juu-ice, Deeeta, Juuice!"

"Here Ba-bee Will-iam," Perdita sang, passing her cup to her little brother. "Let's wead!"

Hermione gave a small sigh and leaned into her husband, a soft smile gracing her face as Dita led "baby" William to their playroom, where the bookshelves overflowed. Neither parent noticed Colin taking one final picture.

* * *

"And that's why we waited until your brother was three before we ever tried to have another family portrait don-," Hermione's raspy words were cut off by a bout of coughing. 

"Mum, calm down, here drink this. Dita will kill me if she hears you."

Hermione pushed the offered cup of water away.

"Sod Dita, she's been bossy since she was born. I don't know how her husband puts up with her." She leaned back into her pillows and looked up at her middle child. William's curls had been tamed by a very short haircut, now streaked with grey that befitted his age and status as the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"Maybe you should take a rest, Mum," he said, fluffing the pillows behind her head. "The doctor said not to strain yourself."

"I've waited long enough to tell you the stories, how much longer can I afford to wait? That doctor's got all the time in the world – with out one drop of sense. She's nothing like her great-grandmother. Molly Weasley was a natural-born nurse if I ever met one –"

He tucked one of her stark-white curls behind her ear and kissed her on the forehead.

"You can tell me more tomorrow, Mum, or after dinner tonight. But rest now."

"Well, close the album up at least – and be careful with those pictures!"

William gently closed the leather book, catching a stray photo as it tumbled out from behind the picture of the family portrait from when he was a year old.

"What's that?" Hermione asked, her voice gravelly.

"It's you and Da," William answered, "he's smiling."

She took the photo out of her son's hand and stared at it for the longest time.

"He was such a handsome devil," she finally said. "Always with a stern look on his face, except when he was alone with us. Harry and Ron never could see what I saw in him."

William looked over her shoulder at the much younger Picture Severus that pulled the Picture Hermione close to him, smiling off into the distance at the unseen antics of his children.

He could recall Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron arguing until the day they died about his Da and his Mum, but this was the Father he remembered. Picture Severus gave Hermione a wink, before glaring at William.

"Take the album and put it on the bookshelf over there," Hermione gestured limply with her hand.

"Let me have that, Mum, I'll put it away."

"No," she clutched the picture a little tighter. "I'll keep this one, love. Now go on down to the Great Hall, before they send someone to get you. We'll talk more after lunch."

"Maybe I can floo and see if Aunt Ginny can come over this afternoon?"

"Maybe, love, maybe… Just leave your mum alone for now, okay?"

"Have a good rest, Mum," he kissed her forehead again and moved softly to the door. He stood with it half-shut for a moment, watching her gaze – entranced at the photo – before quietly closing the door.

"Couldn't wait until they grew up, could you –" she paused mid-sentence to cough, carefully covering the picture. Taking a deep breathe she steadied her hand. "What I wouldn't give to go back for one day."

* * *

A/N: Oh! Don't kill me! I may write more Slices of Life later, but I needed to wrap this up – so I could feel as though I had FINISHED something. This needed an ending, so next time, Hermione will gladly tell William (and Perdita) and who knows how many other children/grandchildren about the pictures and the story of her life with Severus. Thanks for keeping up! All the mistakes are mine. All my love! -Lone Butterfly 


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